Monday, March 9, 2009

It's the little things...

Oddly, I've had a terrific Monday. Like, probably the best Monday I can remember in easily the last year or more. One of the little things that made my Monday great was finding out that a Juice Stop is coming to my neighborhood. Before today, I would have had to make a suburban road trip to get there, which is pretty rough when you're facing urban sprawl and miles to go before you sleep off the hangover.
The Juice Stop is just your basic smoothie joint, but with one perk: they sell fresh wheatgrass juice, of which I'm a huge enthusiast for two reasons:

1. Wheatgrass tastes like freshly mown grass smells. That turns a lot of people off, but to me it's just lovely and refreshing. But hey, if you don't like the taste, the shots are only one or two ounces. So if you can stomach shots of booze at the bar, wheatgrass will be no prob.

[Mmm, lawn in your mouth. You know you want it.]

2. At the risk of sounding like a total alcoholic, wheatgrass is the best hangover cure I've ever discovered. When I lived in Lincoln during college I lived pretty close to an organic grocery store called Open Harvest.

At the time I was doing my fair share of college-age boozin', and, even though I had my age on my side, I still dealt with hangovers here and there. When I was facing that dry-mouthed, head-plagued, rot-gutted demon I crawled my way to Open Harvest, where I'd literally be leaning on the counter, three feet from death itself, trying to tolerate the loud grind of the juicer and the slow service of the staff. I swear it took them about a thousand hours to produce an ounce of juice. Didn't they realize I was mere moments from death?

Finally I'd take my shot and crawl back out the door, nearly missing foul-haired but good-hearted hippies, cursing that 25th gin and tonic, now not-so-proud of my reign as the quarters queen. But after that shot, miraculously, 30 minutes later I'd be back to my normal self, bounce in my step and all. Heck, drinking wasn't so bad. Man, drinking is good! I'm totally ready to conquer!

Rinse and repeat.

[The 25th gin and tonic: Thanatos.]

Wheatgrass is a natural detoxifier and reportedly has a whole mega-bunch of chlorophyll, amino acids, minerals, vitamins, enzymes, and super life-saver, anti-death juice. It's been said that one ounce of wheatgrass has the benefits of at least a pound of vegetables. That hasn't proven to be true, but anecdotally I can tell you with 100% confidence that it will save your life AND improve the performance of your love life.*

So you can see why this is an important addition to my neighborhood. I may not be able to crawl to the Juice Stop, but at least I don't have to wade through traffic and mini-vans and gin-induced fog to get least for a few miles.

*This number is not scientific, but is supported by gin-induced confidence by the Shut-In.


  1. I think I am going to need one of these in about 5 hours. As are you. PS, lawn mouth sounds oddly tasty at 3am on a Tuesday...

  2. I always want to like wheatgrass, I do . . .

  3. great news! kind of sounds like jamba juice, but perhaps less chain-y? god, smoothies ... i'm drooling.

    and wheatgrass is the shit! thanks for promoting it :) it goes really well with orange, if you ever are adventurous to mix it into a smoothie instead of taking a shot.

  4. Note to mammal: you don't need chlorophyll. You are not a plant.